With the Bannermans
by Sam Regi
Helen Bannerman and her son Gavin Bannerman fondly reflect on the life of their late father and husband, David. David was a unique individual who often felt like an outsider, with his red hair, left-handedness, and a distinct perspective on the world. Despite being a community man, he was not much of aconversationalist and possessed a wealth of knowledge on various subjects and was an avid reader.
As David's health declined, the family found themselves preparing for his passing with a mixture of surreal moments and heartfelt conversations. David's light-hearted demeanor, swinging around in Spiderman boxer shorts, created lasting memories for Helen and Gavin. As they reflect on his life, they find solace in the sense of closure his departure brings, knowing that his unique perspective, wealth of knowledge, and unwavering love will always be treasured.
Press play to listen to an extract from the conversation with Cash and Laya.
"It's unfortunate that his unsentimentality also extended to his relationship with you because he'd say, 'Oh, you know how I feel.'
But I knew there was love between the two of you. You cared," Gavin reflects about his mum and dad's relationship.
Interview with Helen and Gavin Bannerman
Can you tell us a bit about David and his background?
Helen: David passed away at 75. He was born in Moree, New South Wales, in a farming community. Throughout his life, he often felt like an outsider, both because he was left-handed in a predominantly right-handed world and because of his distinct red hair. He wasn’t much of a conversationalist and preferred to avoid small talk, but he was deeply knowledgeable. He had a voracious appetite for reading and was well-versed in a wide range of subjects, including politics, history, music, and art.
How did David’s unique traits and interests shape his personality?
Helen: David’s distinct characteristics set him apart in many ways. His physical appearance and preferences made him feel like an outsider. Despite this, he embraced his role as a lifelong learner, immersing himself in books and acquiring a vast amount of knowledge. His approach to conversation was often blunt, but his intellectual curiosity was boundless, and he maintained a deep interest in a variety of fields.
Gavin, how would you describe your father’s impact on you growing up in this house?
Gavin: Growing up in this house with Dad was quite an experience. His unique outlook on life and his diverse interests influenced me in many ways. His passion for learning and his distinctive personality left a lasting impression on me, shaping my own perspectives and interests.
The Bannermans recreating an old photo on film.
Can you share some of your most vivid memories of David during his final days?
Helen: It was surreal. As the days went by, the reality of David’s condition settled in. On one occasion, I asked him what he wanted to wear for the occasion, which seemed so strange to me. He humorously suggested he’d wear his Spiderman boxer shorts and a T-shirt, wanting to lighten the mood. Even as he was preparing for what was to come, he was playful and engaged with the kids, swinging around in his boxer shorts, which were actually a satin birthday gift he liked to keep for special occasions.
How did David handle his final moments?
Helen: David faced his final days with remarkable calmness. He was like someone preparing for a sailing trip, packing up his affairs with a sense of peace. He didn’t express fear or regret; instead, he conveyed his wishes and reassured us. His final words were not about his own fears but about encouraging us to be strong and not to make things harder for him.
How did David’s attitude affect you and your family during this time?
Gavin: Dad's attitude was very much a reflection of his character—practical and unsentimental. He didn’t dwell on sentimental farewells or regrets. While his lack of overt sentimentality could be seen as cold, it was clear that he cared deeply in his own way. His approach to the end was very much in line with how he lived—direct and unflinching.
How do you view David's approach to life and death now, in retrospect?
Helen: Looking back, David’s approach was quite fitting for who he was. He was practical and unflinching in life and death, and he lived without regrets. His calm acceptance of his situation and his focus on making it easier for us rather than seeking comfort for himself was characteristic of his personality. I believe he felt he had lived a full life and had nothing left unresolved.
Do you have any final thoughts on how you’ll remember him?
Gavin: I think the way Dad handled his last days will always stand out. Despite his lack of overt sentimentality, the love and care he had for us were evident. His approach to life and death was consistent with how he lived—honest, direct, and without unnecessary drama. We remember him for his strength, his knowledge, and his unique way of connecting with us.
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